Non-photo Kind of a Week

Yes, it's blurred...but it's all we've got. This is Abbey after our housemate's daughter returned home from the Beijing Olympics with lots of stickers (see forehead and leg) and little gifts for Abbey. She was so happy to see "Livie" again.
We both started coming down sick last Saturday. We rested all day and the next day made it to our first meeting since we've been here. It was at an expat community a half hour away. A guy shared on the topic of loneliness and spoke of his first experiences here in China as he came to teach English. It really struck a deep cord and was all I could think about for the next few days. I have been so busy surviving that I hadn't really had time to think about how lonely and isolated I actually do feel. Especially now that all the Americans that were here helping with our summer camp have left. I didn't think I would want to connect with other westerners in China, but now that we are here I do feel a big need to do that. By the evening I was already in my "I don't think I can do this" (ie stay in China for a year) thought pattern and feeling much sicker, when we had an incident. At 9:30 pm Abbey fell out of bed and hit her head on the hardwood floor. She had fallen a few days before in our extremely dangerous bathroom, that is all super slippery tile with a shower that is open to the bathroom, so the whole floor gets wet. In that fall she hit her head on the tile and it really scared me. This time within moments of falling she threw up a huge amount all over both of us. She was also acting very out of it - moaning and wimpering and saying "I want my mommy", when I am right there holding her. It was so hard to tell if the incoherency was from it being an hour and a half after bedtime. the shock of falling out of bed, or if she had a very serious injury. She wouldn't keep her eyes open either, but that could just have been because it was so late for her. Was the throwing up from the sickness we were coming down with or the fall? I called a friend who called a doctor here and he said that since she threw up I should probably take her to the ER and have a CT scan and then go back in 24 hrs and have another. I skyped my dr's off hour triage nurse back in the states and had her talk to my sister and then had my sister skype chat with me. They felt that if she had only thrown up once it was okay, but if she continued I should go.
It was one of those moments - trying to hold my inconsolable daughter, who is begging not to go to the "hobspital", balance the laptop to make calls, soaking in throw up and trying not to slip in it, that I thought - Oh, my goodness, this is one of my greatest fears and it's happening. My daughter is hurt in China and I don't know what to do. But after a little reyarp with my sister I really felt that going to the ER when we were both sick, and dragging others there to be up all night translating and making international calls about insurance, etc., and putting Abbey through the scans (I am not an x-ray fan) on probably old machines - that I felt more peace about just staying home and seeing how she did. I let her go to sleep for awhile and then woke her up later fully and had her drink juice (big treat for us) to see if she could speak coherently. She seemed much better although her head still hurt and the next morning she seemed to be herself again. That day I was supposed to begin presenting staff inservice training on literacy but was so sick I couldn't even stand up, and Abbey was very congested and sick too, so we had to stay home. We continued to be very sick the rest of the week but began pushing to go back to work because I hated to leave everyone in the lurch and we were at a point where staying home wouldn't be that good mentally, even though physically we needed it. It was a very hard week because we couldn't sleep with all the congestion and trying to speak and present things is hard when your throat is so sore and your head feels like it's full of bricks. Abbey was making it through with triaminic strips (our favorite children's cold med) and the dreaded nose suction bulb. I was trying everything I had and that anyone else had - dayquil, nyquil, sudafed, airborne, zicam swabs, tylenol, and the one thing that seemed to work was the chinese otc antibiotics. We also had some mild stomach issues. It felt like a super bug, but it's probably just one that's new to us here. You know how you can get down when you are sick? Well I kept thinking about the guy's talk on loneliness. His got so bad that he and his wife just scrambled and took the first flight they could back to the US. Eventually though, they got strengthened through their support group and came back and are now doing well. I have been in the sticking it out phase, but thinking I don't know how long I can make it. But after hearing him I kept thinking we could just get on the next plane and be home, and it was very tempting. But then I have no job to return to until next fall and my home has been leased, so what would we do? While we were at home sick I turned on the TV and found the only English option which was a very depressing show about the desert here and about the one tree that can survive there. I felt a clear message about needing to adapt in order to be able to make it in this new environment. The need here is staggering. Masses of humanity without knowledge of the hope that can be theirs. How will they know unless they hear? How will they hear unless someone goes? It's been very shocking to me and a huge reality check on how blessed I've been with friends I am surrounded with back home. After just one month without everyone tears rolled down my face at as the words "What a friend we have..." were sung at the meeting.
Towards the end of the week things got better though with the arrival of a new friend from the US, Heidi. She will have my same job at the school we are starting in the orphanage. She will live here in our apartment complex a couple of buildings away. We are going to a meeting again together tomorrow and evidently she has more connections with people who are like minded and here for the same purposes. She's had a lot more experience living overseas and worked in orphanages in Romania as well, so I really think she can help me with the things I am going through.
Please don't flame me about the decision not to go to the hospital, please.
And if some of the wording here doesn't make sense please know that I am trying to convey things carefully, and I need you to do the same in your wonderfully encouraging comments and emails. You will never know how much they mean unless you are in a similar situation some day.