Living Between Two Worlds

I have had many moments since we arrived in the US of feeling we are in a dream and will be waking up any moment in China. It's been such a wonderful time but somewhat surreal. In two days we head back to our other life, and I miss that life as we miss this one when we are there. Some of the things that shocked me upon arrival in China have now been shocking in the reverse here. It's all the little things...

• There is a lot of cotton on the q-tips here that I once thought we needed and now realize you actually don't, it's a luxury
• There is toilet paper in every bathroom here and I don't have to check my purse all the time to make sure we have some. I see that as a true need, but no one in our other world does
• My sister told me to use a paper towel last night for Abbey's napkin and it seemed so wasteful to use that huge piece of paper when we are used to having a very small, thin tissue
• The refrigerators here were my first shock here and I continue to remain in awe of the size of them and the incredible amount of food in every home. It's awesome to see so many things we know and like...how do we pick, where do we start?
• We've been sleeping on an incredibly soft bed and just giggling each time we crawl into it, we will be back to our 3/4" mattress soon. Hard as a rock.
• The trash cans here are gigantic. At work and at home in China they are all smaller than a little bucket, I fill mine up at work about every 20 minutes. how is it that as an American I create so much waste? especially paper.
• Media assaults and insults here. I was sitting behind a van last night at a traffic light (strange to be driving after 6 months) and this guy had mounted a flat screen to the back window with a slideshow of girls in bikinis with motorcycles. One thing I love about China is seeing nothing like that! Nothing like that on tv, NO magazine covers at check out stands, I mean none...they aren't even sold in grocery stores, convenience or discount stores.
• I tried to go see a movie here, big mistake. My last movie was Cheaper by the Dozen on Christmas day several years ago. I attempted to go to Slumdog Millionare. Closed my eyes through the trailers and walked out doubled over and bawling 15 minutes into the movie. I can't take it...way to close to our home and heart in China. The begging and poverty is too real to me now.

And the big things...

• Struggling with survivors guilt that I am free and that as a single mom school teacher here, I am actually one of the richest people on the face of the planet. What I am I doing with all that I have? I am astounded at the result of one US dollar in China. So little can go such a long, long way . I keep thinking of Schindler's list and how he grieved at the end that he had not done more, thinking with a few thousand dollars the lives he could have saved. Every dollar that is spent I am seeing children's faces, who in the world is thinking of and caring for them as a parent would? He is. More than ever I am convinced that He is a Father to the fatherless. When we allow Him to work in us for adoption or orphan care we get the honor of feeling His heart pulse through us. It is so near and dear.
  

I want to share a link with you to Emily Chapman's blog to see Maria's Big House of Hope. I am so thrilled to see them yarping as they assemble the cribs. And to think that there is now a hospice filled with love to usher children as they head into eternity.

While I'm at it I might as well link to Chinese Starfish too. She is opening up another foster home with nine new cleft babies, how wonderful!