Two Homes, Two Lives, Two Worlds

The week before we went to the US we had the treat of seeing our friends Mark and Lynn as they came to adopt their precious daughter Paige.
Leaving Hong Kong airport at Spring Festival.
Abbey wore her tutu throughout the trip home.
Enjoying the beautiful California weather. Goodbye long underwear and heaters!
Big smile because Auntie Cynthia is passing out cupcakes as usual.

Both Abbey and I are assimilating our new reality. Somehow going to the US for Spring Festival and coming back to China made us rethink the words like home, school, church, family, friends. We have to clarify all the time which side of the world we are talking about. Our lives will never be the same. It's so funny to hear Abbey talking all the time about Hong Kong, Shekou, and Shenzhen...trying to blend all that with our life in the US. She definitely has a global perspective.
We had a bit of a bumpy re-entry into China as Abbey got sick the day before we left the US and eventually ended up with acute bronchitis. I've also had conjunctivitis and just today a massive migraine. We've been readjusting to how hard simple things can be like getting groceries, communicating with people over repairs or problems, and battling mosquitoes at night. We've also been appreciating again how simple our life and routine is here and how very thankful we are for having this year together.
We had a fantastic time in the US, meeting with those we love from morning 'till night, eating lots of yummy familiar food, and shopping at Target. Being at church was so incredibly refreshing. We also took care of all kinds of business getting our teeth cleaned, taxes done, immunizations, restocking medicines, registering for preschool, visa paperwork, and so much more. Our trip back to China was made so much easier because my mom came back with us. It would have been so hard to say goodbye and instead Abbey is thrilled to have her Laolie here.
Last night we were able to have Donna and her girls stay with us as they head back to work at their foster home in Henan. It was really great to be able to share our experiences and learn from each other. Abbey was thrilled to have three more girls in the house. Donna helped me to understand how cushy I have it here in our lovely apartment with access to more western goods. She is doing an amazing job overseeing a houseful of little ones with special needs, being a single parent, and adjusting to the challenges of living in China.
Abbey's day care had a special get together luncheon our first day back so that Abbey could see all her friends. It was so wonderful! Thank you Tina and Dan.
As if having a party for us was not enough, they also let us stay in their home for a week sleeping in the comfiest bed on earth and eating all their Trader Joe's groceries.Uncle Bob and Ashton make awesome forts. It's especially fun with a flashlight.Fun with Michalea, Luke, and Carolyn.
More fun with Laura, Penelope, and Phoebe - they rock! We loved every moment.
When you are very tired from partying with your friends find the nearest closet and go to sleep.
Feeding Derica's new pony. Abbey had her first donut at this play date - chocolate with sprinkles.
Our dear friends the Bland's had a mouth-watering Mexican feast for us with a houseful of our Shepherd's House friends. It felt so good to be with those who have been with me since I first stepped foot onto the yellow brick road. Abbey was so happy to be with Madison again.Pizza with teacher Mary and teacher Christine. Did I say we love our church?
Slumber party with Aisi and Breeana! Thank you to our Jonathan and Michelle for all your love and friendship.

Lindi and Amir treated us to our favorite Sharkey's Mexican food and Billie took us for a long awaited In and Out Burger. Joanie made us lovely quesdilla's and tortillia soup. Sorry to talk about food so much but it was such a fun break from rice, rice, and more rice. We love spending time with all our dear friends!




Oh, and our friend Kelly asked what was important to bring back to China with us. Tons of otc medicines and vitamins, birthday party supplies, a huge box of Goldfish crackers (you can get them in China but it costs a fortune), lots of clothes for Abbey from Target. Oh, and smoke detectors and makeup. Many of the comfort items we would love to have there we realized we can really live without for another six months and it will just be a huge treat to indulge when we have them again - like magazines and books in English, craft supplies, and good quality toys. Oh and also for Kelly, you will be happy to know that we got Abbey her very own real Disney princess camera and she is loving taking pictures!

Living Between Two Worlds

I have had many moments since we arrived in the US of feeling we are in a dream and will be waking up any moment in China. It's been such a wonderful time but somewhat surreal. In two days we head back to our other life, and I miss that life as we miss this one when we are there. Some of the things that shocked me upon arrival in China have now been shocking in the reverse here. It's all the little things...

• There is a lot of cotton on the q-tips here that I once thought we needed and now realize you actually don't, it's a luxury
• There is toilet paper in every bathroom here and I don't have to check my purse all the time to make sure we have some. I see that as a true need, but no one in our other world does
• My sister told me to use a paper towel last night for Abbey's napkin and it seemed so wasteful to use that huge piece of paper when we are used to having a very small, thin tissue
• The refrigerators here were my first shock here and I continue to remain in awe of the size of them and the incredible amount of food in every home. It's awesome to see so many things we know and like...how do we pick, where do we start?
• We've been sleeping on an incredibly soft bed and just giggling each time we crawl into it, we will be back to our 3/4" mattress soon. Hard as a rock.
• The trash cans here are gigantic. At work and at home in China they are all smaller than a little bucket, I fill mine up at work about every 20 minutes. how is it that as an American I create so much waste? especially paper.
• Media assaults and insults here. I was sitting behind a van last night at a traffic light (strange to be driving after 6 months) and this guy had mounted a flat screen to the back window with a slideshow of girls in bikinis with motorcycles. One thing I love about China is seeing nothing like that! Nothing like that on tv, NO magazine covers at check out stands, I mean none...they aren't even sold in grocery stores, convenience or discount stores.
• I tried to go see a movie here, big mistake. My last movie was Cheaper by the Dozen on Christmas day several years ago. I attempted to go to Slumdog Millionare. Closed my eyes through the trailers and walked out doubled over and bawling 15 minutes into the movie. I can't take it...way to close to our home and heart in China. The begging and poverty is too real to me now.

And the big things...

• Struggling with survivors guilt that I am free and that as a single mom school teacher here, I am actually one of the richest people on the face of the planet. What I am I doing with all that I have? I am astounded at the result of one US dollar in China. So little can go such a long, long way . I keep thinking of Schindler's list and how he grieved at the end that he had not done more, thinking with a few thousand dollars the lives he could have saved. Every dollar that is spent I am seeing children's faces, who in the world is thinking of and caring for them as a parent would? He is. More than ever I am convinced that He is a Father to the fatherless. When we allow Him to work in us for adoption or orphan care we get the honor of feeling His heart pulse through us. It is so near and dear.
  

I want to share a link with you to Emily Chapman's blog to see Maria's Big House of Hope. I am so thrilled to see them yarping as they assemble the cribs. And to think that there is now a hospice filled with love to usher children as they head into eternity.

While I'm at it I might as well link to Chinese Starfish too. She is opening up another foster home with nine new cleft babies, how wonderful!

Do It Now!

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Photo Details

Oh, what a busy time the past two weeks! We lost internet access in China for a week and then traveled back to the US during our Spring Festival school break. There was no electricity on our row for the Cathay Pacific 12 hour flight. They wanted everyone to stay in their seats due to turbulence but with no lights or TV, that is a little challenging with a three year old (who was so looking forward to watching Playhouse Disney in English for the first time in months). They gave us a big flashlight to try to hold if we needed to see something. The only open seats were center ones, where I couldn't put Abbey by herself and no one wanted to move. Given the situation I think she did pretty well. We sat next to someone very nice who didn't complain about her wiggling at all. The airline offered us a $25 voucher for duty free goods...I couldn't even respond except to say, "No, thank you." I'm now in correspondence with their customer service department.
We've been in a whirl of business that need to be taken care of here, and also trying to spend some time with family and friends. I have lots to tell, as always, but no time to write : )
I do at least want to take a moment to say a big thank you for all your kind comments here and on FB about Abbey's photo. Many of you asked for more details, so I will share a little here. I was wanting to get some current professional photos and wasn't sure how to go about that in China. I've seen fancy shops with lots of clothes and backdrops but they seemed geared toward babies. My friends had been explaining to me about having them done at a store that I can only liken to BabiesRUs (but really so wildly Chinese and different) but it sounded like quite an ordeal, and very expensive. We were shopping a couple of weeks ago at an infamous place that has 8 floors of knock-offs, pearls, fabric, etc. and were approached by a girl to have photos done. They had stopped us about a month before on our first trip to this "mall" and I just didn't have the time or energy. Abbey really wanted to do it and I thought it would be a good gift for my family. In a very tiny little shop they do your hair, makeup (that's why she looks so much older), costumes, and then take photos. The cost was 150 rmb (about $22 usd). Abbey loved having her hair and makeup done (first time) and I didn't think much about it until later. Because this was a spur of the moment thing I really didn't process it all. Looking back we still would have done the photos, but I would have put some boundaries on things. It was my mistake as a parent, I just got caught up in the moment. Abbey has the most delightful personality, and I want the focus to stay on the beauty of who she is as a person. She is still a baby with fat under her chin, wears a pull up at night, and drinks warm milk from a sippy cup. There will be plenty of chances for make-up and fancy dresses when she's much older. That being said, I do love the photos and will treasure them. I bought a disc and they made a little book that is coated with this great stuff that makes it water and fingerprint proof, it's really neat - kind of like a fancy board book with a matte coating. The disc and book were 250 rmb ($37 usd). We will probably go back and have photos done together because I want to dress up too and you can't beat the price. The ladies there really know what they are doing. We picked a Japanese outfit and a Chinese one. When I went on a hutong tour in Beijing (pre-adoption) I visited a family's home that had a special dress up photo from when their daughter was 2 yrs. old and she was now in her 30's. You could see that it was one of their most important possessions. I also have a treasured photo of my mom when she was three and was a flower girl in a wedding. So it had always been in my mind to do something like that. Now we are returning to our footie pajamas and our regular preschool appearance, I am keeping my girl in 3 yr. old mode as long as I can.

Xin Nian Kuai Le!!

Chinese New Year Celebrations Begin!

Yoyo and Abbey

We are kicking off Chinese New Year today even though it's a week away. We had a big celebration at school with all the children performing and then a dumpling feast. Tomorrow we will have a staff New Year party, very fun!

A brief serious moment, followed by the usual joyous demeanor.

My class, ready to do their monkey dance.


And their lion dance.


And their ribbon dance.
Abbey's class singing their lantern song. Abbey and Amy, our sweet friend and art teacher. The grandmothers showing us how to make the jiaoza. They were so delicious!
Abbey and our beloved Miss Heidi.
Winding down now with her slippers on.

I don't usually let Abbey use the camera, but she talked me into it here, and instructed me to put it on my "puter", meaning the blog.

Cockroach Crescendo

This post has been building since the day we arrived. I've held back as long as I can and now the truth must be told, the above creature has been one of my greatest hurdles in China. There were so many things I considered before coming, and this was not on my list of concerns, but it truly has been an issue. This morning I went in to the bathroom to brush my hair before heading out the door and what to my wondering eyes should appear? A cockroach crawling through my hair. I yanked it out with a brush, swished down the sink and plugged up the drain. I am just hoping that it was on the brush and just climbed on me momentarily, and not on me as I slept. This is an all time low point in my bug battle. We live in some of the nicest apartments in the city. I am a super clean type person. This is not okay. But this is just one of the things about southern China that I've had to adjust to. I have never had bugs anywhere I lived except for ants one time briefly during a rainy season in California. Although I keep all food secured in plastic with clips and keep everything put away all the time, they are here. Most of my friends say that they've disappeared in the last month or two as the temperatures have dropped. Unfortunately I am a baby about the cold and bought a little heater for my bedroom, something no one else does around here. And so all the cockroaches have left everyone else and come to me. I moved the heater the other day and about 6 scurried out from underneath. So...cold or cockroaches, that is the choice. Other gross outs...
They love to go under the microwave. They climb up inside it and I've seen one inside the digital clock. So now as steam is coming out the vent whenever I use it I am wondering just what all is cooking in there. Yes, there was one inside the microwave a few weeks ago. I spray Raid under the microwave and set up traps around it, and wonder what chemicals may be getting on our food. In my hurry to spray a creature I forgot about the gas flame on the stove and almost torched the kitchen. I used a bomb that worked for about a week, but that might also be what gave them the idea to head back to the bedroom.
And cockroaches aren't the only ones...the mosquitoes were a nightmare when it was warm. We have plug in insecticides and would have to cover ourselves with repellent at night. Did I mention I hate chemicals? Still we would be awakened and bitten all through the night, but they are gone now that it is FREEZING. I knew that bats were a symbol of good luck in China since the "fu" pronunciation is the same as the word for fortune, but to me they always seemed creepy. Now I understand why they are beloved. They fly out of the top of our buildings each evening at dusk and begin eating up all the mosquitoes. We are so happy to see them and it's our signal to get inside before we get eaten.
Flies were also a big issue in the summer. It was hard to even eat a meal trying to shoo them off all the time. The Chinese believe in "fresh air" at all times and continually open doors and windows. A plastic flyswatter was no where to be found, I went to many stores. Someone did sell me an electric tennis racket type thing that was supposed to zap them, but I never hit even one. I got really good with a wet hand towel though.
Now the geckos are sort of cute, but it is really yucky to find them in the sticky cockroach traps, I shouldn't even look to see what's wiggling inside, but somehow I just want to know how many bugs I've gotten.
So there it all is. You know I try to be thankful in all things and I am sure in the big picture this is all inconsequential. But I thought you all should know one of the things that's been hard. I remember Corrie Ten Boom being thankful for the lice in the concentration camp because the guards kept a distance and it gave them more freedom. Maybe there is some such redeeming factor working on my character and helping me to have an eternal perspective.